1. upgraders:

    *loses a fight irl* wtf bro rematch I was lagging 

    (via trust)

    • baby:   d... d... d...
    • father:   ...dad? omg you are going to say dad as your first word!!!
    • baby:   d... dONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT
    • baby:   *guitar sounds from baby's mouth*
  2. boost-and-barbells:

    that—fit—girl:

    findmedownsouth:

    touch-me-inthe-dark:

    spooning is the best because i get to see how long it takes to give you a boner with my ass

    Girls are evil for this right here.

    It doesn’t take long

    (via for-theloveof-glitter)

  3. eracist:

    I hate when people transfer to my school and become popular no that’s bullshit I’ve been here for 12 years screw u

    (via asian)

  4. (Source: unclefather, via hitlersasshole)

  5. elfauno:

    Finally, some good advice from Cosmo

    (via beyoncebeytwice)

  6. cafai:

    Drink too much coffee, wear lipstick that’s too dark, and never settle for a life you don’t want.

    (via ruemorge)

  7. caelas:

    girls are so hot???? like i see a hot girl every 2 seconds.  and a hot guy about every 2 weeks.  and even then i’m wary because he might end up yelling something rude at me or making a rape joke or something

    (via jacketslutt)

  8. the-lonely-scottish-guy:

    silent-cannibal:

    absolut-niemand:

    In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.

    no you don’t understand we actually do say that

    i crashed my car into a bridge

    THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME

    (Source: absolutniemand, via theblackship)

    caseyanthonyofficial:

    More pets that people snapchatted to me